Today, I feel like just making y’all laugh. So without further ado, enjoy some random stories from my childhood that only a one-legged girl can experience. 

Where, oh where to begin. I guess a few of the encounters began before I even knew how to talk. When I was a baby, my mom would put me in long dresses to avoid some very awkward stares from the general public. That worked just fine until someone tried tickling my prosthetic foot to get me to laugh while I sat in the grocery store shopping cart. My mom tried to awkwardly explain that I just wasn’t very ticklish while I looked in the other direction, completely uninterested and totally unaware that someone was touching my fake foot.

Once I was old enough to speak for myself and walk with confidence, I wore a cosmetic cover over the leg, causing some people not to realize that I was actually missing an entire leg. Obviously, I took full advantage of that fact EVERY time my older sisters had friends over (especially when I knew it was a boy crush). I took it upon myself to pick up my prosthesis while it was still attached to my body, twist it all the way around so my foot was facing completely upward, and hop confidently into whatever room they were hanging out in, like any respectable, annoying little sister would do. And yes, I freaked many of them out. And no, some of them did not come back to our house. And yes, my sisters were always annoyed. And no, that never stopped me from doing it again anyway.

Sometimes though, my siblings were a part of the awkwardness. Like the time we went to watch my brother’s soccer game, and my eldest sister decided it was a good idea to pick me up by the feet and start twirling me around in a circle. All well and good (heart-warming moment, you know?) until my mom decided to shout across the field, “CAREN! Make sure her leg doesn’t fall off!” The Bream family knew how to leave their mark on a situation.

I have quite a few instances that I didn’t think twice about at the time. Looking back, though, those memories make me face palm at my lack of social awareness. Like in 4th grade when I started taking saxophone lessons. Imagine a short, pre-middle-schooler with one leg who did not have any upper body strength. Now imagine that same girl carrying an alto saxophone through the school hallway, huffing and puffing her way to band class (I’ve always been cool). Sounds like it may be a disaster? Well, my mother thought so too. She very kindly mentioned to the school’s front office staff that I was struggle-busing. The solution? Give me something to cart the saxophone around in. More specifically, give me a bright red wagon. 

Yep, that’s right. I made my memorable mark that school year by dragging around a siren-red wagon with my saxophone in it so I could make band class on time. Squeaky wheels and everything – you could hear me coming from a mile away. I guess this was still a better alternative to trying to haul an instrument around that was basically half of my bodyweight. Eventually all the boys in band class realized they could get in on it by offering to pull the wagon for me if I let them put their instruments in too. We all have our ways of making friends.

Believe it or not, this is just a handful of funny memories I have from growing up with one leg. I hope at least one of them made you laugh or crack a smile. I like to reminisce about these stories (while thinking of the next practical joke I can play on some poor soul) because sometimes we just take life and ourselves too seriously. I’m all about self-improvement and awareness, figuring out life plans, dreams, goals… all that stuff. But good grief, in the midst of it all, let’s remember to just take a step back to enjoy the little moments: the good, the bad, and the hilarious. When we’re hyper-focused, sometimes we can miss out on a lot of wonderful memories that are meant for nothing else but to bring a smile to our face. If you find yourself unable to laugh at yourself, maybe consider adjusting your perspective a little bit. I’ve found that most people in life aren’t out to make fun of you. Most times people just want to experience life together rather than apart, and if that means laughing at yourself once in a while, then embrace it and laugh away. Life is much more fun that way.